The First Trimester (And Why It Can Really Suck!)

By Friday, May 12, 2017 3 No tags Permalink
It’s a funny thing, pregnancy. You spend months, years even, trying to conceive. Thinking of how exciting it will be to share the happy news with all your family and friends.
You may have spent a long time tracking ovulation – testing kits, saliva tests, charting your cycle, taking your temperature, marking dates on the calendar and so on. It’s all you can think about, you become obsessed with food, temperature, your health, alcohol, coffee, showers, spas, drinking enough water, drinking too much water… You know absolutely everything there is to know (outside of getting a medical degree) about cycles, ovulation and the female reproductive system.
Then a miracle happens: you finally have success. TWO LINES! You’re pregnant!  Now what? Well, you wait. Book in your Doctor or Obstetrician’s appointment and wait for weeks until that first appointment, first scan and positive confirmation. And this waiting can be so stressful and full of anxiety, the days feel like months.
first trimester love
You’re pregnant but no-one knows. You’re pregnant but you’re not showing. You’re pregnant but too scared to celebrate. You’re pregnant but you don’t buy anything.  Nope, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, those first weeks. The first trimester can really suck.
A miracle is growing inside you! But you feel lousy. Sick and nauseous. Tired. Exhausted even.
You’ve waited your whole life to tell everyone, yet, you don’t really tell anyone at all.

Whether it’s your first pregnancy or subsequent, you may have no idea what to expect or even KNOW what to expect – every pregnancy experience is different.

first trimester pic

Not everyone waits to tell people, the choice is entirely up to you. Some people are superstitious and keep it to themselves, some want medical confirmation that everything is fine at the 12 week mark, other’s may just want family to know and some people tell everyone.

If you decide not to share it with anyone until your first medical appointment, it’s a long, LONG wait ’til the 12 week scan, then subsequent tests to ensure that your fetus is growing well and developing into a healthy baby.

For the majority of women, the first trimester is the time you’ll feel the most sick. Nausea, vomiting even, impacts you every day. Sometimes all day, every day. In some cases women suffer such severe morning sickness, they need to be hospitalised. In those cases, it’s pretty hard to disguise the fact that you’re pregnant, especially if you have to tell your employer.

And you’re tired. SO very tired, that sometimes you’ll fall asleep on the couch, at the kitchen bench or at your desk at work. And you can’t explain it to anyone – or do anything about it!

first trimester three months

You’ll go to the toilet, a lot. More than ever before and won’t be able to explain it either. Whether you have severe morning sickness or not, you’ll visit the bathroom about twice as often as you once did.

You’re excited but you can’t share it. You’re feeling sick but you can’t tell anybody, or take anything for it. And you may not have much energy for the simplest of tasks – walking up stairs, pushing a trolley or standing for long periods. And if you already have a child, it’s an exhausting and challenging time just getting through the days.

Yep, the first trimester can really suck.

positive preg testIt can also be a very stressful time, those early days. Especially if you’ve been trying for a while, and even more so if you’ve lost a baby before (as I had.) Yes you’ve had a positive test, but then you check your underwear everytime you go to the bathroom to see if you’re period’s come. You’re conscious of every single feeling in your body and will go to the bathroom time and time again to check, and check again. You can’t think about anything else and it’s all consuming and exciting and stressful, and sometimes extremely isolating all at once.

You’re scared too, because you’ll suddenly change your habits – your diet, no more sushi or soft cheese for me thanks. You instantly don’t drink alcohol anymore, but pretend to at social functions and staff parties. You’re so scared of losing the baby, or doing anything to harm it, that you’ll do EVERYTHING you can to protect it. So lie to EVERYONE you know in the process.

first trimester post

At my work Christmas party I sat on the one champagne for hours, occasionally tipping some of it out into a nearby potplant so no-one would notice. I held it to my mouth, but didn’t sip a drop. Another time I was at Derby Day during the Spring Racing Carnival after paying $100 for an all-you-can-drink day out with friends, only to hold onto the one champagne all day.
It’s like your own private joke that you can’t share. Your own special secret that only you and your partner know about.

I’ve had five pregnancies, experiencing the elation and excitement, exhaustion and fatigue and happiness, and sadly the overwhelming sorrow on two of those occasions.

first trimester

For some, the first trimester is the season of fear, some of us make it through seeing that little heartbeat and know it’s all going to be fine. And for some of us we don’t make it that far, and happiness quickly turns to grief and sadness.

Yep, the first trimester can really suck.

But when it all works out, it turns out to be the very best.

 

This was a guest post I wrote for Wonderful Mama Magazine, A Thankyou Community

 

3 Comments
  • Ursula
    May 17, 2017

    Yes the first trimester can suck, I too lost two babies, one 5 months ago and one on Mother’s Day 😔. Thank you for the blog, it made me cry but also helped me.
    Sorry to hear about your babies xx

  • Kat
    May 18, 2017

    I needed to read this. All you ever hear from people is how rewarding it is to be pregnant. I’m 11 weeks and have suffered a loss at 8 weeks previously. I have been finding it really hard to get through this first trimester with such horrible nausea and the fear of losing my baby again. Glad 12 weeks is within an arms reach now.

  • Mackenzie
    May 27, 2017

    Thank you for sharing… I’m 6 weeks into my first pregnancy and these last two weeks have been almost horrible. And I’ve got 6 more weeks to go!!! Ugh. This is all I’ve ever wanted and yet i feel SO bad and I can’t tell anyone?! Are you kidding?! This does suck. I’ve felt so much guilt because I want to be happy and cheerful but it’s just hard. I’m so glad to know that it’s okay to feel this way. I’m not the only one.
    I’m praying to be grateful for every day. I’m growing a BABY!! I can’t wait to be through the first trimester.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *